Annoying The Mutant Hybrid Birds
by REIGN OF AWESOMENESS
Summary: Exactly according to title.
1. Prologue

**Good 'morrow my good sir and ladies! My fellow Maximum Ride fans! Now, this story will be about, as you can see from the title, Annoying The Mutant Hybrid Bird. Actually, this story is from my diary, which my friends suggested for me to put it in FF! The diary is about MR, but not that lovey dovey thing like, "I SAW this boy like Fangles, with his bangs, and..." Or "God, I SAW this girl and she's a totally hot." So if you're looking for that, get out. The diary is not so ordinary. Please read before shooing this page.**

**READ AND ENJOY**

Saturday, 12th October 2013

I have this troublesome friend, or rather enemy. His/her (maybe a fag)'s name is Life. When I asked him/her whether or not my day could get any worse, he granted me worse. I meant it as a rhetorical question, not a challenge. I mean seriously! Ugh, I got an F on math and frickin got a bulldog's fangs stuck to my skin! I sighed. And sat there. I opened the last epic ending of an epic book series called Maximum Ride. Nevermore. Yeah, I started reading and suddenly there was a freakishly loud KA-BOOM! On my roof. I heard a yelp, and a voices suddenly died out. I thought it was a thunder, until my ceiling was destroyed and a couple of teenagers burst through it. I jumped from their stepping range, but they stepped on the book extremely hard that it ripped to pieces.

"MY FREAKING LAST SPECIMEN OF THAT BOOK SERIES! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COST ME?!" I screamed.

The guy that just stepped on the book picked it up, and looked at it. He was muscular yet thin, he had black, black hair that covers his eyes. "Chill kiddo. This is just a novel with fiction characters having wings."

I gasped. "Don't you dare underestimate MR!"

"MR? Why does that sound so familiar?" A blond girl that's ridiculously tall for her age, which is probably eight? Said.

"Because it's Maximum Ride you dolt!" I screamed, frustrated.

The other girl with brown hair which is also ridiculously tall gasped. "Maximum Ride? OMG! That is so awesome! I mean what kind of coincidence is this?! I also have this friend, she's tall, she's pretty, and she ha- mmfh!" She was stopped when a guy with strawberry blond hair covered her mouth.

The other of the other girl, (gods there are many) lunged at me and grabbed my neck. "How did you know my name?" She said, with a steely voice.

"Oh, I don't know! Maybe with some frickin' coincidence, your mom gave you a name that is exactly same to a character in a book?! I mean you don't know MR?!"

"I'm in a book?" she said, puzzled. then her expression hardened again."TELL ME THE TRUTH." She glared at me with death glare. On a scale of 1 to 10, that's probably 20. But thanks to my dad that has 17, I'm not too fazed.

"Ho, if you're trying to make a mess by popping your eyeballs in front of me, I'm not gonna even shiver at it. AND NO! YOU ARE NOT IN A BOOK, THE CHARACTER IS! So unless you have Wings and a boyfriend named Fang and a mother named Valencia Martinez and a traitor father named Jeb Batchelder, fugged it!"

"How did you?" The guy with black hair said.

"Did you get so freaking mad? Because you stepped on my booK!" I glared at him.

Then bam! They shed something... Huge... And feathery... Wings!

"Holy crap..." The girl named probably MR released my neck. I starter going around and around while muttering. "Little things, they have wings, Santa's undies sings!" "Ahaha... They're from MR! Yeah... And my socks just talked..."

"Uhh... What are you doing?" Max said.

"I'm having a little pep talk!"

KABLAM!

"What the hell was that?!" I cried.

"Erasers!" Max hissed.

There was a knock.

"Ugh..." I said. "Hide your asses. I'll check."

"No! It's too dangerous!" Said Max.

"You wanna die?" I glared at him. She stood still. "No? As I thought. Now stay."

I came out of my room and opened the main door.

"Good morning." Two guys with... Uhh... Pretty faces said.

"How can I help you?" I asked politely.

"There is a hole on your roof, I see." Said Mr. Idiot I.

No shit, Sherlock. "Yes."

"Well were there any... Bizarre things that came through?" Said Mr. Idiot II.

"Umm, no. But my senile grandma came in that way last week. But this time, just a zap of thunder!" I said cheerily.

"Oh..." Mr. idiot I wasn't that convinced, but he let it pass. "Thank you then."

"And one more thing sir." I said grimly. "You sirs will find this neighborhood quite... Bizarre indeed. If you are looking for bizarre and also your death. You'll find the Fire chipmunks adorable, but you may want to stay away from the lupine eating creatures. You're not in any case one of those lupine hybrids aren't you?"

They look terrified. Note: Do not forget that they are an abomination created from CHILDREN. "No."

"Alright! Have a good day!" I smacked the door on their faces.

When I came back to my room, the six were laughing like idiots. Though the emo kid just let out a heavy chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

"Lupine eating creature!" The kid with blond messy hair immitated my voice perfectly. "Ya saw his face?" he laughed again.

"Alright, you may go now." I said.

"Go?" the blond boy said.

"Umm, were kind of stranded and we-" I Cut Max off.

"I get were this is going. You need a place to stay,"

They all nodded.

"Because you need a place to stay and food to eat,"

They nodded again.

"And that place is my house."

They nodded.

"Can I try to trust a couple of strangers that have wings?"

They shook their heads.

"At least you all are honest. Introduce yourself." I said. "Wait, don't. I know who you people are. Since my mom is away, and my dad is also away... You can stay." I sighed.

They threw a couple of "Yays".

"BUT!" I said. "You'll have a price to pay. You'll have one."

They looked uneasy. "Yes... You better be prepared. Anyways! You have cloth stock?"

They shook their heads. "What?! NOOO! Fine. Each of you, divide my two hundred dollars by six and buy something."

They cheered again. "Ugh... So, Fangalator!" He gritted his teeth. "Chill, dude. At least you get a room. Your room will be just above mine, Max, yours will be right beside Fang's, Iggy and Gazzy, you'll have... This room. Nudge and Angel, my mom's room. And remember, each of you will have a price to pay." I laughed evilly. "The two hundred bucks is in my piggy bank. of you go, shop away." They grabbed the two hundred bucks a cheered and dashed out of the house.

Why did I trust them? Gut feeling. Well, if they ran off with my two hundred bucks, my mom would gut me. I hope they come back. At least I have an opportunity to annoy the famed MR and her flock. This day wasn't that bad indeed.

**That was de prologue! It feels amazing to meet MR characters! But you must understand that I can't tell you my house's address for Max and her flock's safety. Oh, and the next chapter will be about, ANNOYING IGGY! Hurray! Hurray! Alright, I'm done. See you in next chapter!**


	2. ANNOYING: Operation White Eyes

**Oh yeah! This time, we're annoying Iggy! Let's get down to business! **

**READ AND ENJOY**

Monday, 14th October 2013

**List: 1. Jump and hide in front of him, saying "Now you see me!" "Now you don't" repeatedly.**

**Execute Operation phase I.**

Iggy just came in to the house after playing ball from the yard.

"Hey Iggy!" I said cheerfully.

"Hey." he said.

"Look!"

"Uhh, the problem is, I can't."

"Just look at me!" I crashed onto him.

He staggered backwards. "Hey! What the heck was that for?!"

"Now you see me," I jumped behind a cupboard. "Now you don't!"

"What the-?" Iggy said.

I crashed on to him again. "Now you see me," I pushed him while jumping to the cupboard. "Now you don't!"

He fell, then got up and gritted his teeth. "You better stop quick or I'll – AKH!"

He was stopped when I crashed onto him again. "NOW YOU SEE ME!" I jumped behind him and poked the back of his head. "Now you don't!"

He was shaking in anger then. I jumped around while poking him and repeating the sentence. At last, I stopped and stood near a wall.

"Now you see me!"

"I can trace you, by VOICE!" he aimed his fist at me, but that's exactly what I wanted him to do. I jumped away right before his fist could crack my skull.

"Now you don't!" the wall cracked.

"Agh!" his knuckles split. Ouch.

I ran away.

**2. Paint your mug with multiple colors and ask Iggy to feel the color. **

**Execute Operation phase II.**

"Hey Iggy!" I brought the multi-colored cup and Nudge with me.

"Ugh, what now?" he said.

"Sit! On the dining chair." I said cheerfully.

He sat down. I sat on his right and Nudge on his left. "You know, even though you showed me the wings n' stuff, I'm still wondering whether or not you can actually feel colors."

"Of course I can!" he snickered.

"Alright, then feel this cup." I put the cup with the yellow side in front of him.

"Yellow." He said,

I turned the cup. "Wait, no… How did it? It's purple."

"Feel a disturbance in the force, do you?" I turned the cup again. Nudge giggled.

"No, blue," I turned it again. "Wait, red. No! Green! What the hell? Black! Agh!"

"I was wondering whether the super glue Gazzy put on your fingers would affect them" I said.

"What?! My partner in crime?! Gazzy! NOOO! My sight! My little fingers! Stay with me!" Iggy started sobbing.

Nudge and I were laughing and clutching our stomachs while rolling on the ground.

Fang passed by. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Gazzy used super glue on my finger tips so I can't feel things right anymore!" he sobbed again. Nudge's laugh became high pitched shrieks at that.

Fang shook his head. "Dude, you don't even have glue on your fingers. Aaron just painted the mug with multiple colors and turned it around when you try to feel it." He said, and walked away.

For a moment Iggy looked stunned. Then he shook with anger and turned to catch us, but Nudge and I were long from gone.

**3. Switch his normal bombs with Gazzy's fart bomb.**

**Execute Operation phase III.**

"Hey Igs." I said.

"Hey Aaron."

"Your combination fireworks and bombs are tonight, right?" I asked him.

"Yep." He said. "It's going to be exotic! Don't forget, the backyard!"

"Alright, be there."

After he left, I started the plan. I walked to Fang's room.

"Sup Fnick!"

"Fang."

"Alright, alright. Oh, and for Iggy's show, bring a gas mask."

"Why?"

"You wanna suffocate and roll miserably on the ground?"

He shook his head. "Good. Then bring it."

I walked away and told the rest of the Flock.

Then, I sneaked into Gazzy's room and stole his stink bombs and switched them with Iggy's bombs.

* * *

"Hello, people!" Iggy said. "Wait, why the gas mask? Oh well."

He took the bomb. I shook, trying to hold my laughter.

"Now, get ready, boom!" he said.

Then really, it went kaboom. With some, "BUZZAWW!"s "KER-SPLAT"s and "PSSHHH"s, the strong sulfur came out.

Iggy frowned. Then his eyes got teary and he choked.

"What-" PSSHH! "The—" PSSSTT "Heck?" SSSSSS "Guagh, augh, gagh! Hargh! Agh!" he collapsed.

I roared with laughter. Gazzy, Nudge and Angel were laughing with me. Max was giggling. Fang let some low heavy chuckle. But then, we noticed that the Igster wasn't moving. We crowded around him. He was clutching his throat. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was stiff.

"Whoops. That wasn't a pretty nice idea, wasn't it?" I muttered.

Everyone stared at me and gave me the duh look. Except Fang. Who was already coolly walking away, with his hands coolly in his pockets, and his so called "bangs" that would've made my friends that are girls scream, coolly covering his eyes.

"Well how am I supposed to know?! I thought all those time he spent with Gazzy has at least give him resistance to its knock out effect!" I said. "Oh well. Better run before he wakes up."

Poof.

**4. Move the furniture so that he crashes onto things and comes to… unexpected places.**

**Execute Operation phase IV/Final.**

After a bucketful of sweat, I finally rearranged the house.

"Agh!" Iggy cursed for the fifth time this morning. "I thought that table was there!" THONK! "And that chair there!"

I laughed a little.

"This should be the stairs, right?" he tried to climb a bookshelf.

And I think you all know what happens when someone does that. It falls. Right on top of you.

"Agh! [insert desired swear word.]" he threw the bookshelf away (remember, super bird strength) and searched for the stairs.

"HAH! I found it!" so he climbed the stairs.

He ran through a cupboard right after he turned on the second floor. CRACK! "[insert desired swear word], I'm hungry and I have to get through this [insert desired swear word] obstacle challenge?!" Iggy kicked the cupboard in front of him. "Wait, after the cupboard should be the kitchen! Finally!"

I cracked when he got in the room he so called the "kitchen". It was Max's room you dolt! I yelled at him mentally. He opened Max's closet.

"Well, the fridge feels like wood." He muttered. "It must be the fart bomb Aaron made me set off in front of my face. I swear I'm gonna kill that kid later."

My jaws dropped as he grabbed something and bite it off. "Why does this taste like fabric?" he said. But he ate anyways. "I thought Aaron says his foods are fresh."

"Max! You've got to see this guy! I saw him, and he's like, so hot!" I heard Nudge's voice. She was with Max and they came in the room. "He has this-" Nudge stopped abruptly and stared at Iggy with horror. "OMG! Igs! What the heck are you doing with Max's bra in your mouth?!"

"Whmf?" **(AN: What?)** Iggy turned.

Max glare at him, mortified. Iggy didn't need sight to feel Max's number one death glare. "Ohmf. Nomh whonder id dade lau wawbic…" **(AN: Oh, no wonder it tastes like fabric…)** Iggy muttered, knowing what fate will befall him.

Without any single word, Max lunged at him. WHACK! KA-BOOM! KER-SPLAT! SHAZAM! CRACK!

"Uh-oh." I sneaked away.

* * *

**Hello! Hello! Oh yeah! Operation White Eyes complete! Next time we'll be annoying? Write who do you want to annoy in the next chapter by reviewing! Write who you vote (and please, some motivating words about this story) to be the next victim! I'll see who gets the most voice!**

**So here,**

**1. Angel**

**2. Fang**

**3. Gazzy**

**4. Max**

**5. Nudge**

**Vote by saying the number! Alright, buh-bye!**


End file.
